


Of Dogs and Happiness

by INeverHadMyInternetPhase



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 5 + 1, 5 Times, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Jealous Dan, M/M, not a human, of a dog though, slight troll Phil but not really, whiny dan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-04
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2019-01-09 02:12:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,258
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12266802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/INeverHadMyInternetPhase/pseuds/INeverHadMyInternetPhase
Summary: The five times Dan realises their new dog loves Phil more than him, and the one time Phil made it better





	Of Dogs and Happiness

**Author's Note:**

> This is a write-out of many conversations I have had with Charlotte about how Dan would feel if the dog he and Phil eventually get loves Phil more than him. Enter lots of whiny Dan and lots more ridiculousness
> 
> [Now translated into Russian here!](https://ficbook.net/readfic/6880228/17558524) (thank you jennisblossom!)

\--1--

Getting a corgi was inevitable, really.

They’d been talking about it for years, in idle daydreams and quiet moments curled up together in the darkness of their home. But now, in a house of their own, settled down for the future with busy city life behind them, they were finally ready.

His name was Caleb, and he was a corgi. Phil was delighted with him, so naturally Dan was too, because seeing Phil happy was better than anything else on the planet, really. Caleb spent his first night at home scampering about their feet, snuffling into the corners of their rooms, and making himself comfortable in the (rather extravagant) dog basket Dan had picked out for him.

Until that evening.

They’d curled up on the sofa together for the evening, the TV on the newest episode of _My Hero Academia,_ subtitles up and running and Caleb curled up comfortably by their feet, investigating one of the (many) toys Dan had invested in.

Dan was delighted. He was warm, and comfortable, and Phil was next to him with his arm around Dan’s shoulders. Dan slid far enough down the sofa that his head rested somewhere on Phil’s chest, his legs hanging over the arm of the sofa because who cared about sitting on anything properly. Phil’s feet were crossed on the floor, Caleb a warm panting mess next to them.

This is it, Dan thought to himself. The domestic dream. He’d reached it.

Until Caleb sat up and started looking up at the sofa, wagging his tail.

Dan immediately brightened, leaning forward and cooing with his arm outstretched welcomingly. “Hello, little guy! Do you want to come up?”

Caleb’s tail wagged harder.

“You’re teaching him bad habits,” Phil warned, but his voice was warm and sleep-soft, tinged with that tone that Dan knew meant the evening was edging towards its end.

“It’s what he wants,” Dan argued stubbornly, hands outstretched. “It isn’t teaching him if it makes him happy.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Phil hid his words behind a yawn, and shuffled about enough that Caleb could jump up between them if he wanted.

Dan made a delighted noise and tapped the sofa twice, the way the rescue dog knew to understand, and Caleb leaped straight up with his tail wagging even harder. Dan cooed, reaching for him, and then—

Caleb straight up turned his back on Dan, instead clambering determinedly into Phil’s lap.

Dan blinked.

“Oh, hello there.” Phil pushed his glasses up his nose – today had been a lazy Wednesday – and patted Caleb’s back. “You want to join in?”

Dan stared at Caleb, who was very happily curling up in a ball on Phil’s lap, right in the way of where Dan had been lying with his head on Phil’s chest. And Phil was continuing to pet him like there was nothing wrong with this situation.

Dan couldn’t believe it. “Um, excuse me?”

Phil looked over, his hand still on Caleb’s back (which made Caleb looked ridiculously small, considering the size of Phil’s hand) and raised an eyebrow. “Yes?”

Dan gestured towards the dog on Phil’s lap.

Phil glanced down, then back at Dan. “You might have to use your words for this one.”

Dan made a face at him. “This isn’t how it was supposed to be.”

“What are you talking about.” Phil looked fondly tired, shaking his head just a little. “You were the one who told Caleb to jump up.”

“Yeah, but now he’s where I’m supposed to be,” Dan grouched.

Phil’s lips twitched. “Did you want me to pet you too?”

“No, fuck off, you’re insufferable,” Dan griped. “Plus, Caleb was supposed to come to _me_.”

“Well, maybe if you sat like a normal human then he would.” Phil gestured to Dan’s rather strange position with his legs still flung over the arm of the sofa so he was mostly sideways.

Dan was most definitely not pouting. His face crumpled up, staring at the dog that was now receiving the majority of Phil’s attention, and was even still sitting with his back to Dan. Rude.

What had happened to Dan’s domestic bliss?

“You’re ridiculous,” Phil said with another warm shake of his head, and lifted one warm arm invitingly. “Get back over here.”

Dan made a displeased, huffing noise, but still lay back down to curl up under Phil’s arm. Unfortunately, from this angle, Caleb was now blocking Dan’s view of the tv screen and he couldn’t see the subtitles, he was going to have to make Phil rewatch this episode with him the next day. Caleb’s tail was still wagging, and although Dan couldn’t see his face, he could feel the warm fluffy body of their dog curled up with them both, and ok, maybe that could be an acceptable addition to cuddle time.

Dan would still rather see Caleb’s face than his butt, though. But it would be ok. The dog just needed some more time and training to realise it loved Dan the most.

\--2--

After Caleb had been with them for two weeks, they’d fallen into something of a routine. He was an easy dog to look after, not needing much training and only light exercise, which was good for two humans who didn’t much like going outside. He was also enthusiastic about playtime and about cuddling, which would have made Dan really happy if _he_ was the one that Caleb went to.

Unfortunately, Caleb had taken a decided liking to sitting in Phil’s lap.

Dan couldn’t blame him, really. The dog had good taste. The problem was, Dan thought he’d already laid pretty good claim to Phil, and he didn’t really want this dog to take his space.

Dan had lost count of the number of times he’d wandered up the stairs to the lounge to find Phil sitting at the computer, editing, with Caleb curled up on his knees. Phil absent-mindedly stroked Caleb’s rough fur, eyes glued to the screen.

Dan rethought his plan to clamber on Phil and demand his attention.

“How long are you going to stand there?” Phil asked, lightly amused.

Dan started, then frowned. He shouldn’t be taken by surprise anymore, Phil always caught him lurking when he was after attention. Usually, that was a good thing.

Not right now, though.

“I was going to come see if you were ok, but it seems like you’re just _fine_ ,” Dan said with a pointed glance to Caleb.

Phil’s lips twitched. He glanced away from the screen for long enough to send Dan an amused look, fingers still curled in Caleb’s fur. “You can come help me edit if you like. It’s for the gaming channel.”

“You never let _me_ cuddle when you’re editing,” Dan griped under his breath, but he still went over and pulled up a chair next to Phil. He wasn’t much help at this point in the editing process, not when Phil was still going over all the technicalities of syncing up the gameplay with their footage, so the fact that Phil had asked him to help basically just meant that Phil wanted him nearby.

Dan liked that enough to put aside his feelings about the dog. Besides, if he sat close to Phil like this, then he could stroke Caleb too, and he liked the feeling he got when he made Caleb’s tail wag harder.

“See?” Phil murmured, one hand reaching over to squeeze Dan’s thigh. “Not so bad, is it?”

“Hmm.” Dan pursed his lips, not answering, and shuffled a bit closer.

\--3--

When they were out walking, it also became starkly obvious just who Caleb’s favourite was.

Dan and Phil usually took him out together, even though technically only one of them needed to go. Originally, Dan had considered being lazy and staying in his place on the couch (he’d just managed to get his laptop in the perfect position to let him sprawl), but the sight of Phil with the dog lead and Caleb scampering happily around his ankles was enough of an image to get Dan up to his feet.

The outside wasn’t that bad, either. It was a crisp autumn day, with the leaves crunchy underfoot and the London streets damp, but in the way that made the air feel wintry and cosy rather than unpleasant. Dan loved this time of year best – right when everything was on the brink of change.

He tugged the sleeves of his jumper down over his hands and leaned into Phil’s side, Caleb scampering ahead of them on the pavement. They never had to walk him far, only just a few streets before he got tired out and ran off his extra energy.

Dan had that feeling again, that heavy warm feeling that settled in his bones and calmed his nerves. Phil by his side, a dog at their feet, it was hard not to feel settled, like his life was together in some regard. Especially with Phil’s comforting touch at his elbow, guiding him along their way despite them both knowing exactly where they were going.

Dan let out a soft, content sigh. “It’s pretty good, isn’t it?”

Phil hummed in affirmation, the fingers at Dan’s elbow sliding down to grip his wrist. It was as close to hand-holding as they’d get in public, even in their area. Old habits died hard.

“I’m pretty happy,” Phil agreed, and when Dan glanced over he was giving Dan a sideways smile. “Even with two needy little things to look after.”

Dan elbowed Phil in the side, but he was biting back a smile. “I think you’ll find I’m much more low-maintenance than Caleb.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure,” Phil answered darkly. “I didn’t catch Caleb hiding the sweets from me last night.”

“Midnight snacking is bad for you,” Dan said smoothly. “It’s for your own good. And Caleb better not go anywhere near the snack cupboard.”

“Agreed on that one.” Phil gave a fervent nod, grip tightening around the lead as Caleb stopped to sniff at a lamppost. “Please don’t kill our dog before we’ve had him at least a month.”

Dan didn’t bother to hide his grin this time. He liked the way the words _our dog_ slipped so easily from Phil’s mouth, cementing their future together. Dan already knew it was cemented, of course, that he was tied to Phil in basically every way possible, but it was still nice to get the confirmation now and then.

Of course, then Caleb decided that he’d had enough of sniffing the laptop and instead scampered back towards them. Dan bent down, arms outstretched all ready to welcome him, and as usual, Caleb completely ignored him and ran straight to Phil instead.

Dan huffed, watching the way Caleb weaved his way around Phil’s legs as Phil bent down to pat him on the back.

Phil grinned over at him. “I can’t help that I am the most lovable.”

“And the most insufferable.” Dan sighed. “And I was having such a good domestic moment.”

Phil just continued to laugh at him, still petting an incessantly wriggly Caleb.

\--4--

It was surprising, how quickly their house adjusted to having Caleb a part of it.

In no time at all it was normal to trip over the dog toys in the lounge, to fill up the bowls on the kitchen floor, to save a little bit extra from their dinner (which Dan always told Phil off for doing, while simultaneously secreting away bits of his own meal to attempt to buy Caleb’s love. It had worked, with marginal success).

“It’s normal for some dogs to play favourites,” Phil said from the doorway, making Dan jump and almost drop the bit of apple he’d surreptitiously been trying to feed to Caleb.

Caleb sat on the floor, staring up at Dan, his mouth open in that strange corgi-smile he seemed to spend most of his life doing. His tail was still wagging. Dan very much doubted it ever stopped doing that.

“It isn’t fair,” Dan whined, bending back down and holding the apple out. “I bought him most of his things.”

“Well, you picked them,” Phil said good-naturedly. “I think it was my bank account, though.”

Dan flapped his hands. “Same difference. I gave him good taste. Why won’t he love me?”

Caleb sniffed at the outstretched bit of apple, wagged his tail, then promptly turned and headed straight for Phil.

Dan sighed dramatically, flopping over onto the floor. “Clearly I gave him _too_ good taste. I, too, head straight towards you whenever you enter the room.”

Phil snorted, half-shocked. Dan didn’t normally admit such things, but it was safe when it was just the two of them – well, the three of them now that Caleb was a fixture.

Dan sighed, watching as Caleb achieved pats and rubs from Phil simply from being near him. “I remember the days I used to get all your attention. Ah, where have they gone, the good times? It feels so long ago.”

“Stop being overdramatic,” Phil chuckled. “I love both my children equally.”

Dan paused, thinking that over, and then made a face. “That’s really disturbing, Phil. Please don’t call me your child. Or the dog, for that matter, I don’t think either of us have ever birthed a dog.”

Phil grinned. “No, but I’d pay to see that happen. Particularly to you.”

Dan threw the left-over piece of apple at him, then stalked over to the kettle to make himself a commiseratory hot chocolate. At least hot drinks would always love him.

\--5--

A few days later, the doorbell rang when Dan and Phil were in the middle of watching tv, curled up together on the sofa on a break from answering emails.

Dan groaned, but stayed in place. Normally, if they were in the middle of cuddling, they’d just let it go. Any parcels were left with their building, after all, in fact it was fairly rare for anyone to ring the doorbell without prior warning.

But this time, Phil attempted to sit up, pushing at Dan’ shoulder half-heartedly.

“Mph?” Dan made a surprised sound, glancing up from where he was sprawled across Phil’s lap (it was one of the rare occasions Caleb had gone to sleep in his dog basket, meaning Dan could reclaim his rightful place).

“Come on,” Phil pushed again, “I don’t want to miss it.”

“What even is it?” Dan mumbled sleepily, reluctantly rolling over enough that Phil could escape out from under him.

“You’re getting too big for this,” Phil said instead, disentangling himself and poking at Dan’s leg. “Too long. Like a tree. I’m going to have to stop watering you.”

Dan made a face, but watched with something close to interest as Phil went to answer the door. He couldn’t see the interaction from here, but he could hear enough to know that Phil was deliberately keeping his voice down.

Deliberately being mysterious, hm? That usually meant one thing and one thing only.

Dan sat up fully, eyes brightening a little, watching eagerly as Phil re-entered with a parcel held carefully between his hands. “What did you get me?”

“Huh?” Phil glanced over at where Dan was sitting on the edge of his seat. Then he grinned. “Oh, you’re going to love it.”

Dan bit his lip, leaning further forward as Phil set the parcel down on the coffee table. It had been a while since Phil had been tempted enough by strange corners of the internet to buy something strange, usually giving it to Dan just as a testament to how often he thought of him. Dan appreciated it, liked being spoiled more than he would admit to. Phil knew this, though, just as much as Phil enjoyed having an excuse to buy strange things. It worked out well.

Except this time, the picture was skewed yet again as Phil got to his feet and headed over to where Caleb was curled up in his basket.

“Come on, boy,” Phil tempted with a little back-pat to Caleb. “Wake up, I’ve got something to show you.”

Dan’s heart dropped to his stomach. “You… got something for the dog?”

Phil glanced over, excitement in his eyes. “Yeah! I figured, you’ve got him lots of fancy things but I really haven’t spoiled him much yet, it isn’t really fair on him.”

Dan bit his inner cheek, hard. So hard his eyes started to smart.

“You’re going to love this,” Phil said encouragingly to a sleepy Caleb, who, despite his eyes hardly being open, had started to wag his tail. Of course he had. The sound of Phil’s voice could call fucking angels. No wonder Caleb loved him so much.

When Phil had coaxed Caleb over to the table and shown him the parcel, Caleb had woken up almost fully, his tail wagging and his beady, black eyes curious. Dan, despite himself, couldn’t help but watch with a soft warmth as Phil excitedly tried to get Caleb to open the packaging, lifting one of Caleb’s paws.

“You’re going to hurt him,” Dan eventually sighed in exasperation, leaning forward with one hand outstretched, beckoning. “Give it here before you break something.”

Phil surrendered the package easily enough, still grinning. “You’re going to love this too, Dan, I know it.”

“Sure,” Dan muttered, still bitter about the fact that Phil had bought their dog something rather than Dan. And it had been _ages_ since Phil ordered anything. Honestly.

Still, Dan had to admit he was curious as he ripped open the packaging carefully, and revealed… a new toy.

A ring to play tug-of-war with, which made sense. Caleb had broken his the other day by too-enthusiastically playing with Phil (because, of course, he only played with Phil, when Dan tried he simply sat there wagging his tail and refusing to move).

“Show him!” Phil said eagerly.

Dan rolled his eyes, but Caleb had already caught wind that something was happening and was sitting at Dan’s feet now, staring up at him with those deep black eyes that were near-impossible to say no to. So Dan set the packaging down and held out the ring, which Caleb sniffed excitedly, wagging his tail.

“You want to play?” Dan asked hopefully, holding the ring out, and sure enough Caleb took it between his teeth with an excited little growl.

Dan grinned, pretending to tug back, only for Caleb to tug away with enough force to surprise Dan into letting go. And then, of course, Caleb took the toy straight over to Phil.

Dan watched with abject horror as Phil took the other end of the ring with a small laugh, entering into a very familiar tug-of-war scene.

_Dan_ could have done that. Why didn’t Caleb realise this?

Phil grinned over their dog’s excited, wriggling body at Dan. “See? He loves it! I knew he would.”

“Yeah,” Dan answered dejectedly, and flopped over on his back, staring contemplatively up at the ceiling. “Of course he does.”

\--+1--

The next day, Dan and Phil were curled up on the sofa again, this time with Caleb wedged between them. This was pleasant, Dan could admit. Phil was still giving him attention, one arm curved around Dan’s shoulders, and Dan had wrestled with Caleb to figure out the best way to share Phil’s lap space. They’d just about managed it, and Dan was pleasantly warm with the way Caleb was curled up right beside his face.

This was acceptable levels of cuddling.

Then, the doorbell rang again.

Dan groaned the minute Phil started shifting. “I swear to fucking hell, if it’s another fucking present for that dog—”

“It’s nothing of the sort,” Phil complained. “How dare you accuse me of that?”

“It’s going to be another toy, isn’t it.”

“Shush, and move, you’ll see.” Phil touched his nose, attempting to be sly. It came off as dorky, of course, like most of the things Phil did, but Dan was still impossibly endeared. He rolled his eyes, rolling off Phil and sitting up.

“This better be worth it.”

“Trust me, it is,” Phil answered solemnly, then reached down and plucked a sleeping Caleb off his lap, placing him instead across Dan’s knees.

Dan looked down in surprise.

“Hold him for a minute,” Phil ordered, then disappeared to answer the door.

Dan paused, glancing down at the warm weight now taking up his lap. Caleb was fuzzy and still asleep, somehow, his ears twitching a bit with his dreams.

Dan smiled. He reached down, curling his fingers gently through Caleb’s fur. This was pleasant. This, he could deal with.

Then Phil came back, something hidden behind his back.

Dan caught his eye and sighed, glancing up at the ceiling. “It’s alright, I know you’ve betrayed me again by getting something for the dog. Better to rip the plaster off and tell me straight away.”

“You’re so overdramatic.” Phil shook his head, lips twitching. He came to sit beside Dan, glancing down at where Caleb was asleep. “See? He does like you.”

“Only until he wakes up and realises he’s not near you again,” Dan answered darkly.

Phil bumped his shoulder against Dan’s, reprimanding, but he was still smiling. “Well, actually, I have something that may help with that.”

Dan arched a brow at him.

Phil brought his hands out from behind his back with a dramatic flourish, revealing a small, suspiciously flat parcel wrapped in brown paper.

Dan narrowed his eyes. “What did you get him this time, then?”

“Well, it’s sort of for both of you.” Phil handed it over, careful not to disturb Caleb on the way.

Dan paused, thinking that over. He weighed the parcel in his hands. It didn’t feel like much. “I honestly have no idea where you’re going with this,” Dan remarked casually, and slid his thumb under the slit, ripping the parcel open slowly.

Inside was a… dog brush?

Dan took it out slowly, discarding the packaging somewhere safely far away from sleeping Caleb. He turned the item over in his hands. It _looked_ like a dog brush, but it was a weird shape, and a ghastly green in colour.

“I fail to see how this is for me,” Dan said finally, “but I’m sure Caleb will love it.”

“It is for you,” Phil stubbornly argued.

Dan sent him a flat look. “It’s a dog brush.”

“A _left-handed_ dog brush.” Phil leaned over, his hand brushing over Dan’s, showing the correct way to hold it. “Built for left-handed people. And I was reading that brushing a dog is a really good way to bond with it, so you can – you know, this way you can have a thing that’s specifically for you and Caleb.”

Dan sat there, speechless.

“I mean,” Phil rushed to say, “You’re always saying how sad you are Caleb loves me more than you – and he does, sure, but dogs play favourites all the time and if you’re legitimately bothered by it, then like – maybe this is a thing you can have with him. A brush that I can’t use.”

“A brush that you can’t use,” Dan repeated slowly.

Phil nodded. “Yeah. Like – something just for you and Caleb.”

Dan bit both his lips ferociously to hold back his smile.

“You should try it,” Phil added knowingly. “He won’t mind being woken up by a brush, he’s been asleep for ages.”

Dan bit his lips harder. But he did it, picking up the brush carefully with his left hand and testing the bristles. They felt soft enough. Slowly, he reached down to where Caleb was still curled up in his lap and gently laid the brush against his fur.

Caleb started, lifting his head curiously. Dan let him have a sniff of the brush before laying it back against his fur, starting to brush him slowly.

Caleb made a contented noise and laid his head back on Dan’s lap, stretching out his small body happily. As Dan continued to brush, his tail started to wag.

Dan smiled.

“Told you,” Phil said smugly from his side.

Dan knocked him with his elbow, still smiling. “Hey. He still loved you first, I have to bribe him.”

“He loves you too,” Phil disagreed. “You’re the one who let him sleep on the bed with us.”

“He’s impossible to say no to,” Dan answered stubbornly, refusing to admit that that had been another form of bribery to try and get the dog to love him.

Phil just chuckled knowingly, tucking himself up against Dan’s side. “I do get a bit how you feel, though. Right now I want to lie in your lap, but there’s a dog in the way.”

“Welcome to my world,” Dan answered drily, but he did as Phil always did and lifted his free arm invitingly.

Phil snuggled up next to him, and Dan continued brushing the happily sleeping dog, and all in all, Dan’s domestic fantasy was working out pretty well.

“Thank you,” Dan murmured after a few minutes of peaceful silence.

Phil glanced up at him, still tucked again Dan’s side. “You’re welcome. Any time you need reassurance that you are of equal importance to a dog, you just let me know.”

Dan elbowed him again, smiling softly. “Don’t ruin it. You just did something really sweet, don’t spoil it now.”

Phil mimed zipping his mouth shut, then curled back up against Dan’s side.

Yeah, Dan thought to himself happily as he continued to brush their dog. Domestic bliss. He wasn’t completely sure what that looked like, but he was fairly sure what he had currently came pretty damn close.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find me on tumblr, @ineverhadmyinternetphase ^^


End file.
